“Ménage a feet” – working on tiredness

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In the beginning we discussed what brings us to the forum and our interest in body symptom experiences. We mentioned many things ranging from:

  • How to work with the medical world that sees something as a problem and disease and wants to fix it and bring in the paradigm that sees in addition a symptom as potentially meaningful
  • How to daydream more, letting the mind wander in order to care for ourselves.
  • How to translate what our symptoms are saying in the different medical models.
  • How the non linear is more and more marginal in the medical world and we miss connection to our indigenous nature.

Symptom – Tiredness

The symptom we worked on was tiredness and exhaustion as a result of a serious lung infection. The person had done a lot of work around the lung symptom itself so decided to work on the tiredness.

Following and amplifying the tiredness by lying down, brought up a role and critic that says you are lazy. The person discussed how through their life they went from dropping out completely until that got boring to overdoing everything until they were exhausted. Eventually it was about finding the balance between the two and an image came to mind of rolling not having to live in a straight line and a connection to their love of dancing.

What looked like lack of energy transformed into the need for playfulness and excitement.

Forum

Every forum is so unique depending on the group and the symptom.

The question for this forum was to explore:

What is it that stops us from following our bodies and energy levels? or What allows us?

Answers included: sex, big shoulds, dominant mind, sensory information we keep splitting off, having to sit in a chair, be straight and still, not touching and control yourself.

The polarity was to wiggle and play and a couple of people started playing with each others feet and being very silly. Eventually everyone had their shoes off and was walking around connecting to the earth a little.

teapotblur

Dancing Teapot

Of course the other side came in and said what are you doing? What will people say? And the worst thing, how can you say you like that!

It became ridiculous and everyone was laughing and the joy was contagious. Time to kick of your shoes relax, have a good time and let go.  Suddenly we were all singing the “I’m a Little Teapot” song and making the motions. It was so unexpected but made sense from the earlier work. It seems that everyone marginalizes playfulness. Having fun was the group edge.

What a lot of fun, we found playful enjoyment in a symptom of tiredness!

 

 

 

Pierre’s lecture on the Nocebo Effect of Health and Normality

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Pierre-LectureIt was a wonderful lecture. Here is a PDF of the power point: The Nocebo Effect, Health Leadership Presentatation, PWI 2015.

After the lecture Pierre facilitated a short forum.

We explored two different sides around the issue of health. One side that is directive and corrective – do this and that, eat healthy, exercise; and another side that says no I want to support my own wellness and go with the flow and relationship is more important.

There was dialogue about statistics and if you are not in the 90% of mainstream normality your are insignificant. Instead we need diversity.

There was appreciation of the effort that goes into medicine and care for others and appreciation for those who take care of themselves and are self empowered.

There was discussion around the rank of the pharmaceutical industry, the legal system, and medical research system how we support them but are also overpowered or colonized by them.

 

Weakness in Knee and Communication Styles

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Magnolia-meditationIn our January Dreambody Medicine forum we explored the ideas of physics and the Higgs boson particle Large Hadron Collider and the idea of symmetry and how a disturbance is needed to create life. Body symptoms disturb our inner balance or symmetry and bring awareness. Curing symptoms, taking medicine and having surgery is important, but then we can use the experience in our symptoms to learn more about ourselves.

We also talked about the story of the dog in Seattle and how he doesn’t wait for his owner to get on the bus to go to the dog park. Don’t wait to play!

The poem below also inspired us to follow the flow of the river and life.

Ask Me by William Stafford

Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what difference
their strongest love or hate has made.

I will listen to what you say.
You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.

The symptom explored was of a right knee that was unstable and weak and the way it was being managed was to be careful and gentle. Exploring the symptom involved amplifying the bending of the knee and the clicking sound it made, and then imagining it as a chicken leg and  chewing on the joint getting to the marrow, finding it nutritious and delicious! becoming superman and world president, creating more excitement rather than war and more sustainability than peace. And bringing a relationship practice of 50-50 air time for each. Deep democracy and how to connect deliciously. Being the joint between. A right knee relationship way, making relationship conflicts more delicious to explore.

In the small groups we explored the questions of

1. how do we relate from the core in relationships and in relationship to the world?
2.how can you bring your delicious nature into relationship.

In the forum we explored social norms that expect conversation and then went silent inside, meditated and brought out what happened for us. Each had a different experience. Experiences of play, relaxation, joy, no thoughts, fully present, melting, enjoyment, focus.

 

 

Finding Meaning in Chronic Pain

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Legs-stamp
In working with symptoms we explore having a better relationship with whatever symptom is in our lives. A main way to do this is to find the meaning of the symptom. If you have to live with something chronic or  incurable, and it it can become a meaningful journey then it can really change your life.

At the forum we talked about how we can look around and read and find references to the same idea that a symptom can be meaningful. There is a story from the Huffington post blog, about a psychiatrist Dr Leo Rangell. He was president of the American psychoanalytic society and a renowned psychiatrist in the US. He had to have surgery, a heart bypass. Surgery went well. But afterwards he developed a new symptom of hearing music in his head. Not just a tune. Like a hallucination called a music hallucination which is a rare brain disorder. Somehow it was related to what happened during the surgery. He kept hearing music in his head, at any time it wouldn’t stop. The music would change to different tunes and musical pieces. But it was a very distressful symptom. He tried to cure it and get rid of it. But over time he discovered that the actual tune had meaning in the context of his life. He gave an example. At the anniversary of his wife’s passing he heard the tune, “My Bonnie lies over the ocean”. When his wife passed away he had spread her ashes in the ocean. That was a song, a psychotic hallucination, and it was actually carrying something very meaningful for him. Related to his life and emotional state at the moment he didn’t realize immediately. Here is someone from a different background that has the same idea. The thing that happens to us can carry something really meaningful and relevant. We can explore it from pathological view and treat it and then be curious about it and see if there is different information and different meaning. This can be fascinating.

In our forum a man explored a herniated disk from 20 years before with its resultant loss of feeling in one leg, numbness in the foot, and muscle atrophy and the development of osteoarthritis and recent hip replacement in the other. The experience of the symptom was like a ball and chain from medieval times. A stomping on one foot and a dragging on the other.

Processwork sees chronic symptoms as part of our life myth. Chronic symptoms don’t have break through solutions. It can be more about internalizing the meaning of the symptom and bringing it out bit by bit. In close relationships that are safe, then the workplace and finally out into the world.

In unfolding the symptom experience we explored being less feeling and a little mean and numb to minutia and details and perfection and taking a break. Being kinder to the body and less considerate of others consciously. Moving between a part that is ambitious and has a goal and another one that is held back, wants to chuck it away and have a break. Also not wanting to be helpless because of the figure in the background from having been a child growing up with a parent in a wheelchair.

In our small groups we talked about the following questions:
1. How do you relate to pushing forward/freedom energy and being confined/staying still energy?
2. Have you got any symptom experiences that could be related to your family scene?

In the discussion one point was that freedom came with choice to do either push forward or stay still. Without freedom you don’t get the choice.

People discussed the questions of family symptom legacies whether generic or disease. Examples included:

  • Loyalty to a parent who had something they couldn’t overcome
  • Energetic legacies
  • High blood pressure dealing with big energies such as anger
  • Paralysis and lack of mobility
  • Being emotional and being threatened with ending up institutionalized like a relative
  • Wanting a better scene for the next generation

We then explored many roles with bringing out the ghost role of one that constrains or pushes us. Some of these included:

  • the body that says I am not a machine
  • the one that ignores the body because it has to survive
  • the one that cares for the body
  • the one that protects and supports the one trying to survive
  • the one who is encouraging and wanting to find something sustainable for both
  • the one who says keep doing what you are doing and bring us in as well.

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Exploring Pain From Fractured Fingers

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IMG_5408-handAs I am thinking about writing this post I am driving in my car listening to the radio where this guy is talking about “if anyone believes in a cause they should actively do something to help it”. In a way we all are doing that in the way we live our lives. Then in the cafe a woman says “it’s happy hour, right, can I have a little scotch and water? Both of these comments connect to the discussion from our October forum, where a participant worked on pain from fractured fingers.

An aspect of Processwork is that “symptoms are potentially meaningful and purposeful conditions” for ourselves, our relationships, families and community.

When exploring a symptom first steps involve checking that a person is well taken care of medically. Then your realize there are many additional aspects of a symptom: for example with an accident you can explore the fall or the break or the pain.

Then the courage it takes to explore a symptom. It’s holiday season which is a complicated season for many. We get trapped in having to support something we may not believe in. We fall into the roles of wanting to look good, being critical, criticized or being vulnerable. Having a symptom can make it difficult to fit in.

The participant had worked on the falling and wanted to work on the pain. An image of a claw and then another of being nailed down came to them. To double check we went back to the experience of the pain and there was an energy of – not stopping, holding, a don’t you dare let go, feelings about who you love and being connected to the core. Staying with what you love, what is meaningful for you. Being able to hold all of it. Not in fear and suffering but being present. An essence of mothering/fathering. A different quality of relating, caring and accountability. We can hear the song”Don’t stop believing” playing outside.

As a group we explored the question of relationship and connection and our ways of relating in family and our community.
-From running a business and the dilemma between being collaborative and inclusive vs people just wanting to be told what to do. As a boss being forced to take all the weight of responsibility.
-Or the issue of gender identity: The expectation that holds us to certain roles and the advantages and disadvantages to that. For instance one person talking about the experience of being a single father getting more support in childcare than the ex-wife.
-The experience of having a symptom and having to slow down to the body’s speed rather than the mind’s speed. The contrast between our need to be doing and fixing or just being with someone going through something difficult. Having or wanting to move forward, not be held back and I am sick and can’t keep up. How do you do both?
-Being in a place where time and space are different. Detachment. Pain cuts through it all.

We ended with a switch in roles, one side appreciating the not doing. Joining the moment and enjoying being here with everybody tonight.

Mindfulness and meaning for the human family.

Dreambody Medicine Clinic Reflections

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Guest Post by Cathy Bernatt

Last Sunday morning at Timothy Lake I awoke in my tent realizing I had been dreaming all night but couldn’t remember much. I picked up my sketchpad and was surprised to see what emerged. Almost every drawing was focused on the eye… This Thursday, my right eye began to hurt and by Friday morning the top lid was very swollen and felt like something was slicing my eye when I opened and closed it. Though painful and uncomfortable, an ophthalmologist eased my inner drama queen that imagined the worst and said it was just a sty/hordeolum. Said hot compresses and time would heal it.

Friday night was the Dreambody Medicine Clinic at the Process Work Institute. I had the fortune of working as a client with Emetchi on my eye. As Kara was explaining the many levels of how symptoms emerge and the various paradigms of thinking and working with them, I suddenly remembered the focus on the eyes of all my sketches only 4 days before. And also realized that I had been focusing internally on what my deeper vision was for this next chapter of my life…

Unfolding the symptom with Emetchi, Pierre, Kara and all those that shared in the experience I found a profound new way of “looking for my vision”. Feeling grateful for my overall health, for friendship, for community and for the depth that Process Work offers in working with body symptoms and for being able to open to the realization of how the many parts are all connected to a bigger whole!!!!

Timothy Lake-Mt. Hood National Forest Dreaming (7 photos)

After the individual work with Cathy we explored as a group the issue of following your inner vision and dreaming and how we felt constrained by every day task and expectations. A great dialogue ensued between a role that represented the tasks and goals of making it in the outer world and a creative role that was more interested in following inner experiences.

Healthism, Diversity & Being Out Of Rhythm

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In our last Open Forum on April 4th we explored healthism from different angles. First Laura (name changed) worked in the middle on not wanting to share anything about her body symptoms and illnesses publicly. She mentioned the fear of being shamed for being sick and unfit, the multiple ways she feels marginalized by doctors who pathologize her and others who patronize her by being too helpful. Laura took the role of the judgmental healthy person and remained unrelated and unaffected by any of the comments of the facilitator playing her as a sick person. The divide between the two worlds became apparent. She was then willing to work on a throw away symptom: her irregular heartbeat or atrial fibrillation. Out of this work a playful free spirit came forth that invited the whole group into moving and dancing together.

The open forum that followed focused on rift between doctors and patients, between the healthy and fit and the sick, and the lack of care in a culture that marginalizes illness and death and wants cure. Many spoke about their fears and reluctance to share their vulnerabilities around body symptoms, their hopelessness about finding care and support, and about not trusting doctors who remain detached, objective and neutral. Laura then was able to transcend the divide and care for both sides: the difficult “life” of doctors and the pain expressed by the participants who spoke in the role of patients.

The next dreambody medicine forum will be held Friday June 6, 2014 from 7-9.30pm at the Process Work Institute.

Body Symptoms, Health & Community Forum – April 4

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In this forum we will link the individual experience of body symptoms with larger cultural and social issues.

You will have the opportunity to explore your own experience and learn the social aspects of illness through sharing your experience in a group format.

When
Friday April 4, 2014 from 7:00 PM to 9:30 PM

Where
The Process Work Institute of Portland
2049 NW Hoyt Street
Portland, OR 97209

All are welcome-No charge

Organizing Team
Emetchi, Jai, Kara, Pierre

Special thanks to Arny + Amy Mindell + Max Schupbach for their vision and training in the Lava Rock Clinics.

Silence and Shame

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Last Friday’s Dreambody Medicine forum was amazing and deep. A woman worked on a burning hot sensation in her mouth. Her symptom was connected with speaking her truth and experiencing being stopped by a shamer. She described it as being on an IV of shame.

Following some sharing in small groups focusing on speaking about our own experiences of being silenced and silencing ourselves and what helps us speak out we then went onto have a deep and touching open forum discussion that included some of the following:

– The need to have others listen to our experiences and the difficulty of expressing them in words.

– Generational impact of role models and the example of a granddaughter being able to show the way of being outspoken and assertive in the world. Saying what is important to you for others to hear and making sure they hear you.

– Issues of sexism and inferiority of never meeting the ideal as a man or a woman.

– A touching story of someone’s brother who committed suicide. His experience of not being validated and suffering under a critical father.

– Being silent is okay. Not listening is okay. But experiencing is key.

– Speaking is one way to get to know ourselves and can be scary. What will come out? Who knows, we might even like ourselves. 🙂

Our next Dreambody Medicine Forum will be Friday April 4, 2014 at the Process Work Institute in Portland