Yesterday in our Dreambody Medicine clinic we worked with a friend and colleague who is recovering from a severe car accident. She was struck by a semi-truck and spun around in her car until she hit the railings. Her car was totaled and by pure luck our friend survived the accident with “only” a concussion. Several weeks after the accident she asked to work on what she called her experience of her doctor called a post-concussion syndrome.
She said she felt not her normal self, which used to be sharp, thinking, verbal, focused, and able to achieve a lot. Now she felt low energy, unfocused, spacey, and had episodes of blurry vision. She fought with herself for not being able to live as usual and felt, sad, scared and ashamed of who she had become.
We asked her if she was willing to fully embody her “abnormal” self which she immediately did by collapsing in her chair and letting go of any pressure to do anything. She ended up on the floor going deep into a place of vast, dark space (below is the image she later draw of her experience). Internally she later told us she slowly allowed herself to let go of any expectations and experienced being silently with herself in the midst of the group.

Easy & Not Easy-Learning to Let Go; September 12, 2015

As a group we then processed our own experiences of pressures to fit in, to be normal and of our difficulties to follow our own inner life and wisdom. Many shared their gratitude for witnessing the process and learning about their own struggles with letting go of the collective expectations. We experimented allowing ourselves to follow our playful natures, our unfocused dreamlike states and interacted with the voices that criticized us for being too unconventional, not “willing” to live a normal, structured and goal oriented life.
We also discussed the rank and privilege of letting go and the additional pressures underprivileged individuals might feel.
We all want to feel normal and fit in. We also all have experiences of being singled out and made feel ashamed of who we are by a teacher, a parent, a peer group for being too dreamy, speaking the wrong language, being the last chosen in a team selection process, coming from the wrong side of town, not having the cool gadget, being too skinny, too heavy etc… The collective pressure and tyranny to be like everybody else and disregard the beauty of our own diversity makes us sick.