Change is a built-in function of life. Everything changes all the time. Then, the second law of thermodynamics suggests that all closed systems are moving towards a state of entropy or decay. On the other hand, open systems exchange energy and waste with their environment and are able to defy entropy and keep a steady or balanced state for a certain time. Lastly, negentropy or syntropy is the process of energy storage (in essence from the sun) that allows for growth and development.
In individual psychology entropy can be seen as the day to day experience of movement and change towards the ultimate transition of death. You can compare it to our auto-pilot process that moves us through life and helps us function in everyday but is irreversibly linked with deterioration and decline. Negentropy or syntropy, in contrast, is our ability to be aware, store information and direct our path towards growth and meaning.
Then again based on painful experiences from parents and teachers most of us associate change and growth with something that is wrong with us. Improvement and growth has the negative taste of overcoming failure to fulfill certain expectations. We also spend most of our younger years in developing our identity and want nothing more than to be respected and accepted as who we are. Change automatically implies that something is wrong, that we are not good enough and “have to” change. Everybody will resist this and push back, given that it is so important that we feel accepted for who we are regardless of anything that would require us to change. The paradox is that we can’t avoid change because it is intrinsic to life and we hate change because it can imply a flaw or failure.
“Radical acceptance” and “you create your own reality” or “that which we water grows”
A consequence of new age and/or psychological thought is that we believe we create our own reality. Mind body medicine explains how powerful our minds are in co-creating our physical experiences. In my own experience our minds and bodies are really not separate and they shape each other. Psychosomatic medicine can be very powerful and help cure disease. But then there are limitations and these views have a dark side too. Cancer patients are made to feel that they brought their illness upon themselves because of their own negative thinking. Individuals with an auto-immune disease start feeling that their body turn against themselves because they were not successful enough in listening to their own body needs.
Radical acceptance is an alternate approach that helps when we are confronted with painful events that exceed our own control. Radical acceptance teaches us to accept reality for what it is and to stop fighting it. Radical acceptance is about handling the cards you were given and to muster the courage to face our own lives just as they are, even in the midst of suffering. Allow the world to be what it is, throwing yourself in to life, and participating in it in a willing manner. The paradox of radical acceptance is that it includes all our parts, the ones that ask: “why me, it shouldn’t have happened”; the ones that use psychology, mind body medicine, and awareness to change and grow; the ones that get hopeless and want to give up; and the ones that accept reality as it is and turn our minds towards our own processes as they follow the flow of the river life.