Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.
We live in uncertain times filled with existential challenges: environmental, communal, technological, cultural, and political. We are desperately searching for answers—solutions that will lead us out of our insecurities and angst. We turn to our tribal creeds, beliefs, methods, and leaders, delegating to them the responsibility for both the causes and cures. Their explanations and strategies are what we expect to guide us through the crises and messes we have created together. However, if we are honest, it appears that while there are some successes, we are not faring well as a whole. Science, which often presents itself as a method but is also a form of belief, has achieved many successes and advancements, yet it has not proven to be the universal answer. Religion has provided us with a sense of belonging, solace, ethics, and community, often at the expense of othering our neighbors.
Perhaps we have been too impatient with the questions, too quick to seek answers, and too eager to alleviate pain, suffering, and darkness. What would it mean to be present with these difficulties, to allow them to unfold, and to remain curious about who we are and what the universe and life hold? Pain, suffering, and death are here to stay; they are part of life. Compassion and empathy compel us to alleviate suffering. Directing loving-kindness to others blesses them with happiness and wishes them freedom from suffering. Although trauma and suffering are ever-present, our ethics and intentions strive to improve the world around us. Finding solutions, addressing problems, and developing cures to reduce trauma, wars, and environmental disasters are of utmost importance. However, we also need a new humility and honesty that acknowledge our failings and shortcomings—an openness to remain with the questions and a commitment to deep listening to each other’s struggles.
Each of us will eventually encounter a moment of profound loss and disorientation, a deep absence of creativity and motivation, where life feels dreadful and directionless. In these times, we may retreat into a desolate inner space, void of light and movement, as if the tides have stopped. Our desperate longing for a force to pull us out of despair—often a dull, tired ache—intensifies the feeling of loss. The old ways no longer work, and memories resist us. The spark is gone, and we feel envious of those who seem unscathed, still able to create magic.
This is the critical moment when a halt becomes necessary, when deep questions take precedence over easy answers. It is a time for the present, past, envy, and longing to unite and create a crack in the door to a new horizon—one that is barely visible and unimaginable at this moment. Deep within us lies the potential for a new beginning, a tentative and staggering step into an unknown but promising future. This journey requires us to reimagine how we inhabit our bodies and minds and to consider what we truly want from the world.
“There are times in life when the firmament of our being seems to collapse, taking all the light with it, swallowing all color and sound into a silent scream of darkness. It rarely looks that way from the inside, but these are always times of profound transformation and recalibration — the darkness is not terminal but primordial; in it, a new self is being born, not with a Big Bang but with a whisper. Our task, then, is only to listen. What we hear becomes new light.”[1]
We often struggle to understand where we come from or where we are headed. We particularly find it challenging to see how our everyday lives fit into a broader perspective. We may sense our connection to a larger continuum that transcends our current horizons. However, when we become overwhelmed by the demands of daily life, we lose sight of who we are meant to be and the dreams we hold for our lives. This can lead us to dissociate from our aspirations. Remembering the arcs and directions of our lives, as well as the deeper currents that lie beyond our daily routines, is a discipline that can be difficult to maintain. During these times, we risk burnout, illness, and depression as our souls and spirits become strained. We must take a step back to rest and reconnect with our dreaming companions.
Many will recognize that a mental health breakdown is not just a pathology or malfunction of the brain or mind but an opportunity for self-knowledge and growth, an aspect of health. It is an attempt to make a course correction, to get well by falling ill. In a crisis, we haven’t become ill; we were already on an illness trajectory, and the crisis is a call to re-evaluate our status quo and reorient ourselves in a healthier direction. Everything we fear, we tend to marginalize and pathologize. But beneath the symptoms that constitute the disruption is an attempt to find a more authentic way forward and deeper, truer healing.
[1] Maria Popova. Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower: Rilke’s Timeless Spell for Living Through Difficult Times. The Marginalian: https://www.themarginalian.org/2023/01/11/let-this-darkness-be-a-bell-tower-rilke/. Retrieved 12.15.2025.