As I am thinking about writing this post I am driving in my car listening to the radio where this guy is talking about “if anyone believes in a cause they should actively do something to help it”. In a way we all are doing that in the way we live our lives. Then in the cafe a woman says “it’s happy hour, right, can I have a little scotch and water? Both of these comments connect to the discussion from our October forum, where a participant worked on pain from fractured fingers.
An aspect of Processwork is that “symptoms are potentially meaningful and purposeful conditions” for ourselves, our relationships, families and community.
When exploring a symptom first steps involve checking that a person is well taken care of medically. Then your realize there are many additional aspects of a symptom: for example with an accident you can explore the fall or the break or the pain.
Then the courage it takes to explore a symptom. It’s holiday season which is a complicated season for many. We get trapped in having to support something we may not believe in. We fall into the roles of wanting to look good, being critical, criticized or being vulnerable. Having a symptom can make it difficult to fit in.
The participant had worked on the falling and wanted to work on the pain. An image of a claw and then another of being nailed down came to them. To double check we went back to the experience of the pain and there was an energy of – not stopping, holding, a don’t you dare let go, feelings about who you love and being connected to the core. Staying with what you love, what is meaningful for you. Being able to hold all of it. Not in fear and suffering but being present. An essence of mothering/fathering. A different quality of relating, caring and accountability. We can hear the song”Don’t stop believing” playing outside.
As a group we explored the question of relationship and connection and our ways of relating in family and our community.
-From running a business and the dilemma between being collaborative and inclusive vs people just wanting to be told what to do. As a boss being forced to take all the weight of responsibility.
-Or the issue of gender identity: The expectation that holds us to certain roles and the advantages and disadvantages to that. For instance one person talking about the experience of being a single father getting more support in childcare than the ex-wife.
-The experience of having a symptom and having to slow down to the body’s speed rather than the mind’s speed. The contrast between our need to be doing and fixing or just being with someone going through something difficult. Having or wanting to move forward, not be held back and I am sick and can’t keep up. How do you do both?
-Being in a place where time and space are different. Detachment. Pain cuts through it all.
We ended with a switch in roles, one side appreciating the not doing. Joining the moment and enjoying being here with everybody tonight.
Mindfulness and meaning for the human family.